On a cold winter day in Winnipeg, a unique message appeared in the Jets player group chat.
From Alex Iafallo, it was a simple enough question, but it was met with mixed reactions.
“Does anybody have a chainsaw?” he asked.
One of his teammates told me that no one knew what Iafallo wanted the chainsaw for, exactly. It was just a confusing, hopeful request made in the group chat Winnipeg’s players use for jokes, announcements, memes, and, on this occasion, borrowing tools.
Iafallo lives in an apartment building. He’s not in charge of his own landscaping and, even if he was, the idea of him heading outside to trim a midwinter elm tree seemed to confuse a lot of people.
In Part 2 of our Jets player poll series, we’ll complete the story of Iafallo’s chainsaw request. We’ll also share the team’s best and worst chirpers, a few items from players’ non-hockey “bucket” lists, a few more items about the group chat and — for the first time — which teammate Winnipeg’s players would be most likely to call for help if caught in a jam.
The answer to that last question is a wholesome one. Read on for more.
Best chirps?
It’s one of hockey’s most fascinating elements: Elite professional athletes, running on peak adrenaline, managing to be funnier and more cutting in the heat of battle than most people are amongst their closest friends. Some topics are off-limits, others are fair game, and even though some of the team’s longer-standing players spoke wistfully of Dustin Byfuglien, Brandon Tanev and other Jets of days gone by, three clear leaders emerged.
Mason Appleton is your chirping champion.
“Appy’s chirps are nuts,” I was told. “He’s crazy, that’s all I’ve gotta say.”
What in the world could that mean?
“He says the most outrageous stuff that no one else could think of,” said a player in the top half of team scoring. “It’s not anything bad — he’s just unique.”
Rest assured, Mason Appleton: Your teammates protected your clever secrets, although apparently you’re even funnier on the bench and in the room than in the heat of battle.
Adam Lowry shows up as a more obvious No. 2 candidate.
“He’s a smart guy and he’s quick-witted,” said one defenceman. “He’s not a chirper all the time but, when he does, I always feel like he has some good ones. I would also say that he can back it up with anyone in the league so I feel like that adds an element to anything he says.”
Another defenceman heaped even more praise upon the Jets’ leader.
“He’s just so quick. I don’t know if he has them holstered already or what,” I was told in a tone of awe. “And I don’t know what you can say back to him. He’s a good player. He’s nails. He’s big. He’s our captain. There’s not a lot of things you can go after him for. Plus, he’s TDH.”
“TDH?” I asked.
“Tall, dark and handsome.”
Brenden Dillon got his votes for reasons including quick wit, frequency of wit and a general sense of being able to back up anything he says with big hits and physical play. I will protect the identity of the following quote by refusing to name him.
“Dilly, for sure. He’s my D partner. That’s why I hide behind him.”
Neal Pionk, who I’m mentioning now for purely coincidental reasons, also got some love.
“I don’t want to give any credit to Neal but he’s quick and witty. I hate to say that but I’d probably have to go with Neal. He always loves to be in the action.”
Worst chirps?
The three “winners” of this category ended up winning for different reasons.
There was some debate about what constitutes being bad at chirping. One forward was adamant that his vote go to a player who doesn’t chirp at all. There was a defenceman who preferred to pick on people who he wouldn’t particularly fear, should words turn to shove. A few players skipped the question altogether, while one of Winnipeg’s newer players got a kick out of the words his teammates will or won’t use.
Nino Niederreiter shows up at the top thanks to a pair of teammates who feel “like he doesn’t chirp.”
Ever?
“Ever. He just doesn’t say anything.”
So how do you explain the vote he got as Winnipeg’s best chirper just a minute ago?
“He’s always dropping little one-liners among the group,” said a forward. “He’s always screwing around and it’s all in good fun.”
David Gustafsson, who played so well in Niederreiter’s absence last week, got his votes in a different way.
“Gus for sure. You just laugh at him and whatever he says that he thinks is a chirp,” I was told in a tone that conveyed friendship with Gustafsson. I asked if there was a chance that Gustafsson is simply too nice of a person to be an elite chirper.
“For sure. He just doesn’t fit the mold to chirp. You chirp him, he tries to give it back, and then you start laughing.”
Pionk got one of his votes from a forward whose shifty expression prompted follow-ups. Why Pionk, then?
“Because he always comes after me,” I was told, as the forward laughed.
Pionk got his other vote from one of the three defencemen who are at least four inches taller and 20 pounds heavier than he is. (“He’s a little guy,” I was told.)
Finally, there was this bit of wonder — expressed by one of the many Jets acquired between last season’s trade deadline and now — about Mark Scheifele.
“Mark, for sure. He doesn’t swear. Did you know he doesn’t swear? Good on him. But he’s definitely, in my opinion, the worst chirper. If you’re not swearing, it’s funny. I giggle sometimes. He’s almost like a kid talking.”
Which Jets player makes the most out of Winnipeg’s cold winters?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we get it. Winnipeg is cold sometimes. The air hurts our faces, frost forms in our beards, eyebrows and eyelashes, and did I mention the air hurts our faces?
Well, Winnipeg may be cold but at least it’s a dry cold.
It’s the kind of cold that can be defeated with proper bundling, layers and an intrepid spirit that fights back, makes the best of things and plays outside instead of giving in to the climate. And lots of Winnipeg’s players are great at this. We’ve all seen Connor Hellebuyck’s goalie mask and its homage to fishing Lake Manitoba, right?
He’s not the only one who makes the most of Manitoba’s beautiful outdoors.
Winnipeg’s hunting and fishing crew leads the way.
“We’ve got a lot of them,” said a younger Jet. “KC, Sammy (Dylan Samberg), Bucky, Al (Iafallo) …”
“Sammy or Bucky,” chimed in another. “I know Sammy’s sat outside trying to get a buck for an unfathomable amount of time this year. I don’t think he even ended up getting one. He was too patient, waiting for the right one.”
“We’ve got a lot of hunters on our team and a lot of guys ice fish, so they make the best of things,” said one of Winnipeg’s top-10 scorers. “I’ll go with KC and Bucky always go ice fishing or hunting together. I’ll go ice fishing the odd time and I like it, but getting up at 5:30 or 6:00 a.m. the day after a game to get out to the lake is hard. Sometimes I just want to rest but when we have a couple of days off between games, I’ll go. I like it a lot but they love it. They’re crazy.”
It was pointed out that Minnesotans, Michiganders and other players from northern U.S. states are big fans of Manitoba because of our beautiful backcountry. It was also mentioned that the players who lead this list have a ton of “get up and go” to them, just as people.
“Those guys have high motors,” I was told. “On an off day, when a lot of us would just want to melt on the couch, you don’t see that from those guys. They’re always going out and doing something.”
Now, about the champion.
We’ve detailed Iafallo’s commitment to camping, adventure and the way he raved about the Whiteshell after spending the end of his offseason exploring Lake Nutimik. Hellebuyck has spoken to the way he’s impressed by Iafallo as a fisherman, catching catfish and sturgeon seemingly at will.
About that chainsaw, though. Take it from a Jets defenceman who’s pretty keen on playing outside himself.
Who’s the best Jet at playing outside in the winter?
“I would say Alex Iafallo and it’s really not that close,” he said. “He was asking me for a chainsaw earlier in the year to go cut out some ice and I said, ‘Dude, just get an ice auger.’ He said ‘No, no, no. I want to do it old school.’ I guess chainsaws are old school, but the guy is out there building igloos and stuff. He’s my No. 1. And look at his trade story. He was camping for a week. That’s why he didn’t hear about it. Just put his phone away, like ‘See ya!’”
More than a few players were amazed by the igloo and the camp story, while Iafallo was also the nearly unanimous answer to my follow-up question. Who’s the most likely Jet to survive the elements on “Alone”? (The other vote went to Dylan Samberg.)
Who’s the biggest wimp about Winnipeg’s cold winters?
There was also the matter of who’s the least in love with Winnipeg’s cold weather.
The Jets had some fun with this one — and the champion took it in good spirits — so I feel comfortable sharing their answers with you.
Who’s the biggest “wimp” about the cold?
“All of us,” said one forward from a northern U.S. State.
When pressed, a couple of people went with Gabriel Vilardi just because the former California resident has yet to experience a properly frigid Winnipeg winter.
But the winner was a runaway.
| Player | Percentage of Vote |
|---|---|
|
66.7% |
|
|
33.3% |
“He’s been here a long time and he still complains about the cold quite a bit,” said one teammate, before considering things from Nikolaj Ehlers’ point of view. “He doesn’t have much body fat to him so I guess he’s got a fair point.”
Ehlers, who’s listed as Winnipeg’s lightest player on the official roster, chuckled when he found out he was the runaway champ.
“I definitely used to be,” Ehlers said. “This winter wasn’t really that cold, though, but I don’t like the cold in general. I get cold pretty easily, so yeah. I can agree to that. I have been a little wimpy.”
Who’s most likely to dominate the team group chat?
I didn’t ask this question to everybody and, when I did, true dominance didn’t emerge. All of the players on this table earned a single vote, tying for first place:
“Schmidty talks a lot. Exactly like in real life,” said one Jet.
“In terms of non-serious texts, I would say Nino. In terms of serious ones, Lows,” said another.”
“Neal’s pretty funny,” said the same player who voted Pionk as best chirper.
What have we learned? You tell me. But let’s move on.
Who do you simply not mess with on game day?
You are similarly unsurprised. “The goalies,” was the most common answer, by far, followed closely by “The starting goalie.”
When pressed, Laurent Brossoit emerged as the player teammates give the most space when he’s in his zone.
“Both goalies are pretty good compared to what I’ve seen in the past but those are the two who I just steer clear of,” said a forward who has played for two NHL teams.
“The goalies. They’re unique people and they like to do their own thing,” said a non-goalie. “I don’t want to disturb them or mess with them. I think LB needs more space than Helly. Helly’s more loose, I would say. He plays soccer with the guys.”
And then there was this item — perhaps a little bit of proof that Winnipeg’s starting goalie is pretty darned easygoing by goaltending standards.
“I’ll mess with Bucky … But everyone loves to mess with Bucky.”
Something to explore, perhaps!
What is one non-hockey item on your bucket list?
No chart here — just a collection of quotes from players who were encouraged to share an item from their bucket list that had nothing to do with hockey.
“I’d say playing in a professional golf tournament but I did that,” said a Jets player who has played in a professional golf tournament. “I love travelling so there’s definitely some parts of the world that I want to see. Australia, but it’s not easy to get there during a short offseason. I’ll save that for when I’m done.”
“I’ve always wanted to travel to Switzerland,” said a North American forward.
“I’d like to go to England, see where my Nana and my mom are from. I haven’t made it out there yet,” said a player with English roots.
“Everything,” said an adventurous player whose identity would not surprise you. When pressed to specify: “Learning how to sky-dive.”
Note the “learning” part. He’s not content to do a tandem or have his chute pulled by a professional. He wants to be the professional.
Speaking of other professions, I thought this veteran player’s item was fun and unique. I wonder if you’ll be able to guess who it is.
“I always wanted to do a Broadway show or be in a play. I always wanted to be in the Jabbawockeez. I got so close to doing it and then I got traded. I guess it will have to be after I’m done playing. I would love to be in a Cirque show or something like that. I don’t know if I could do some of the jumping or tricks but I’d love to be in the acting part.”
Beyond that, travel ran rampant. Specific ideas included attending the World Cup when it’s in North America in 2026 and visiting a Formula 1 race during the offseason.
Players get so wired into their routines during the year that disconnecting and getting away from “it all” also emerged as a theme.
“I’ve been to a lot of spots in Europe but I’d like to go to Italy, maybe somewhere in the mountains — just leave my phone and just disappear,” said a particularly hardworking player. “Not by myself, though: with someone. I don’t want to die alone in the mountains. Maybe I’ll take Al. We’d survive.”
On that note, here’s the final question for Part 2 of our Jets player poll:
You are stuck, in trouble, in a jam. Which teammate is your first call?
This question was presented in the vaguest possible terms, with players allowed to ask questions if they wanted to.
“You’re in a jam,” I said as consistently as I could. “I don’t know if you’re lost in the woods, have a flat tire, or what, but the key thing is you’re in a spot of trouble and you can only call or text one teammate. Who do you choose?”
It’s obvious, right? Iafallo is a chainsaw-wielding, igloo-building, outdoor specialist who disappears into the mountains for days at a time. He’s the guy voted most likely to survive in the wilderness all by himself. Surely, they’re all calling Iafallo?
Not so fast.
“Al would be the last guy,” said a clever Jets forward. “I love him. I’d do anything for him. I think he’d do anything for anyone else. But he’s never on his phone.”
“I don’t think he’s the one to go with,” said a player under 25. “You text him and he answers six hours later.”
I think it’s encouraging that, with survival potentially at stake, the Jets considered the likelihood of phone answering alongside practical skills.
Here’s how they voted.
“I’d call Sammy (Dylan Samberg). He’s reliable, almost all of the time, when I call or text him. He’d pick up the phone.”
“For me, I’m probably calling Scheif,” said a star defenceman who might get Norris Trophy votes. “He’s my closest buddy. We’ve been friends for a long time and he was one of my groomsmen. I trust him to come help me out.”
Most players preferred reliability to wilderness know-how, although one defenceman was torn.
“I’d probably call Fetts (Cole Perfetti) or Neal. It would depend on the situation. Either one would come — I hope,” said the defenceman laughing.
Then came an interjection from the neighbouring stall.
“Flat tire, you’re not calling Fettsy.”
Laughter ensued and the initial defenceman clarified his answer.
“That’s the thing. If it’s just picking me up in the middle of nowhere, I’m calling Fetts. If it’s picking me up in the middle of nowhere and I need something done, I’m probably calling Neal.”
The next few answers all come from players known for their outdoorsy skills.
“Bucky. I’ve been hunting and fishing with him. He’s capable and he knows the situations I’d be in.”
“I’d call Vladdy (Vladislav Namestnikov). He’s got some undercover skill. I don’t know what he would do but it would be something and it would be a good time, too.”
“Gosh dangit,” said an exuberant defenceman. “It’s probably between Al or Adam. Adam is a knowledgeable guy. Apple is pretty good, too. I’d say probably Iafallo. The problem with him is that he’d be like ‘I dunno, we’ll figure it out.’ And I’d be like, ‘Dude! We have to get off this mountain!’ He’d be like, ‘No problem.’ And I’d be like, ‘How!’”
“I would say Adam is probably the most knowledgeable but the most fluid would be Alex Iafallo,” said a similarly exuberant defenceman. “The easiest to just go to with ‘Hey, this is what I got myself into.’ Adam is the most likely to answer his phone.”
In the end, the (altogether very wholesome) outcome is this: Winnipeg’s players, from top to bottom of the lineup, whether veteran or young, said their captain would always answer their call.
“I’d call Adam, for sure,” said one of Winnipeg’s newer players. “I’ll say Adam because he’s just the nicest guy and I know he’d do anything for any of the boys. I know he’d show up.”
(Photo of Adam Lowry: Isaiah J. Downing / USA Today)
